Joke thread

@ Peninha: Hahahah it refers to the method statisticians use to calculate averages.

For example, if you have 2 people, one person earing 100,000$ usd a month and the other earning 100$ usd a month, they'd tell you that on average, those two people are earning on average, an income of (100,000 + 100) /2 = 50,050$ usd a month. Crazy, right?

So if you have your head in the fridge (very cold) and feet in the oven, (very hot) and even though you might be in a lot of pain, but when the average is taken, (coldness of fridge + hotness of oven) /2 = average temperature.

So a statistician would say you should be on average, fairly comfortable with your head in the fridge and feet in the oven.

 

Here's a doozy, if a bit sexist:

 

Here is a silly one that I heard recently...Bambi went all the way for a dollar, supposed to be "buck"

 

A blonde walks into a library...............no, wait, that's not right.

I'll think of more tomorrow, I'm kind of tired right now and that's the only one I could think of.

 

Come on Silver, you can do better than that!

Check out this minotaur!

 

Hey, do you guys know how many ants it takes to fill an apartment?



... ten. It takes tenants to fill an apartment

 

One day a man in a suit is walking alone in an alley. Another man approached him and said, "This is a hold up, hand over YOUR money and all YOUR belongings!". The man in the suit turned around and said, "Dear sir, I am a government official. I am one of your honorable congressman!" The thief was shocked and said, "Then, Mr. Congressman kindly give back OUR money and everything you stole from us!")

 

Haha, good ones guys! Gotta love that minotaur Peninha! As for the thief pot_star, good luck getting the money back from the congressman, possibly it's already in an off-shore...

 

A company, feeling it was time for a shake up, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he wants to let them know he means business!The CEO walks up to the guy and asks, "And how much money do you make a week?"A little surprised, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $300.00 a week. Why?" The CEO then hands the guy $1,200 in cash and screams, "Here's four weeks' pay, now GET OUT and don't come back!"
Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks, "Did everyone see what I just did?"
With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers says, "You just gave a $1,200 tip to the pizza guy"