Joke thread

Discussion in 'The Cocktail Lounge' started by mmmaske, May 20, 2014.

  1. ash2014uk

    ash2014uk Well-Known Member

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    I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 8, 2016
  2. ash2014uk

    ash2014uk Well-Known Member

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    "This is your captain speaking, AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING."
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 8, 2016
  3. JaydonTyler

    JaydonTyler Well-Known Member

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    Nice. Heard that one before but, it still made me laugh slightly.

    There are some good jokes in this thread. I expected worse but decided to check them out. Good stuff.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 8, 2016
  4. dianethare

    dianethare Senior Investor

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    @ForceofXero...you got me at that one, boy, do my ribs hurt...ouch!..so the Italians like talking whilst using their hands...never knew that :)
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 8, 2016
  5. JoshD1990

    JoshD1990 Active Member

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    How can you hide money from a hippie?

    Put it in the shower.
     
  6. sully3333

    sully3333 Member

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    When somebody else tries to tell you a knock knock joke:

    "Knock knock."

    "Come in!"
     
  7. JR Ewing

    JR Ewing Super Moderator Staff Member

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    I like that one. :D
     
  8. Casper

    Casper Well-Known Member

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    I like this:

    "Why should you never trust atoms".. "Because they make up everything". :)
     
  9. ash2014uk

    ash2014uk Well-Known Member

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    England are to have a new captain next week.

    His name is Roger Smith and he's the pilot for the flight home.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 8, 2016
  10. Enceladus

    Enceladus Guest

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    Who here watches Game of Thrones?
    So here goes my joke:


    Q: Why is Tyrion (the halfman) not fit for the royal treasury?
    A: He's always a little short. :p
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 8, 2016

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