Have you ever felt like someone else is living your life? I don't know how to explain it, but it feels like if you were watching your life through a TV screen, it's difficult for you to feel positive feelings, and you feel like that little part of you who used to feel love for someone else besides your family has already died? It's happening to me since 8 months ago and it's really frustrating, I told my therapist about this situation and she just said that I need to concentrate on how my body reacts to certain situations... Have anybody here felt this way before?
Yes, when I "parked" under the side of a flatbed tow truck. Given I had 50 feet to stop, from 50 mph, when the idiot pulled out from a side road making a left, the police were amazed I still laid rubber down. Morphine is good, made me numb while taking away the pain. Works well.
For many years I lived like a zombie. Having been betrayed so many times, I lost interest in virtually everything. Had nothing to live for. I drifted through life like that — I loved no one. Not friends not family. That's how I came to fall in love with being a loner. I started living for myself and since no one no longer could hurt me, I was much happier than I ever was. Nothing endures forever @OP. In time you'll leave the numbness in the past.
I have been where you are. I was married for over 20+ years and when my marriage fell apart I was numb. I think I choose to just numb myself out to spare the pain. I went through every day in a daze. I didn't care what was going on around me. I have no emotions. I didn't even feel like I was living. I wasn't living, I was merely existing. I felt I had nothing to live for and I really didn't care at that point if I lived or died. It made no difference to me. It took a lot of time, years, before I slowly began to build myself back up. I am in a much better place in my life now and I treasure every moment I have. I think that period in my life made me stronger. Keep talking to your therapist and seeking the help you need. In time you will come back around and it will all just be a part of your past. Hang in there!
Candidly, yes, I have. Earlier in life, between some nagging health issues and crushing workload, I sort of sent "zombiefied" for a while. The good news, like anything else, it passes. Take care of your health (e.g., eat right, exercise), focus on a positive future, and develop that inner resilience. You'll come out of the fog a stronger person because of it.
If you mean that if I ever felt so useless my life was a burden, then my answer is positive. I really felt like someone else was leading all aspects of my life and had no control over it whatsoever. Things have improved ever since, but I still get that feeling from times to times. Especially when I'm procrastinating a lot. I just feel like I'm losing time ... and money in the process as well.
I'm glad that you have found the peace that you needed in your life, I really am. And thank you so much for the advice, I will keep talking to my therapist but I will make an effort to overcome this feeling I guess, I really need to work on it!
I know, procrastinate is always a bad thing for me too, if I'm not doing something relatively productive I become really anxious and that leads me to depressive episodes. I'm glad that things have already improved, keep it up!
I know, being a loner can be really comfortable, you don't have a lot of compromises with other people and you don't have to deal with them that much, but is not the best way of living, we are humans and it's a big part of our mental health to socialize with other humans... I just hope that this doesn't last forever!
I felt this all the time when I was out of work. It was like I wasn't really depressed nor was I really living. The best way to explain it was like it's purgatory. I was a machine or a puppet-- I felt nothing. As time went by I started working out, eating healthier and I tried being more confident with my choices in life and it just went away. Being sad or angry is better than feeling nothing at all.
