A proud and confident genius makes a bet with an idiot. The genius says, "Hey idiot, every question I ask you that you don't know the answer, you have to give me $5. And if you ask me a question and I can't answer yours I will give you $5,000." The idiot says, "Okay." The genius then asks, "How many continents are there in the world?" The idiot doesn't know and hands over the $5. The idiot says, "Now me ask: what animal stands with two legs but sleeps with three?" The genius tries and searches very hard for the answer but gives up and hands over the $5000. The genius says, "Dang it, I lost. By the way, what was the answer to your question?" The idiot hands over $5.
Ok well this one doesn't really have anything to do with money but it's stupid, simple, but my all time favorite. If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic. I used to know a lot more jokes but over the years they've faded. There are some really good ones here though.
Kind of a joke/advice from my father. He says in a relationship, sometimes you can either be right, or you can be happy. Not both.
Haha, I like that one. If you're ever being followed, keep making left turns and see if they're still there.
An old gentleman was reminiscing to a fellow pensioner about his late wife. "she was a remarkably religious woman, when she woke up, she would pray, sing a hymn, then she would ask me to join her in prayer. Then, she would recite a psalm over breakfast, and that's how it went on all day-praying, singing, and reciting until she finally climbed into bed, said her prayers, sang a hymn, said her prayers again and the next morning she was dead". "Oh no, what happened?". "I strangled her".
lol hahaha. That is the oldest most corny joke but for some reason it makes me laugh when i hear it from someone. Probably because it sounds so cheesy.
