I know that in some places, spanking may be prohibited but in other places, it is still widely practiced. Many parents state that they got spanked while young and turned out to be outstanding adults with admirable values. They also state that most children these days who aren't spanked have poor manners and little behavior and a little spanking would help. What are your thoughts, is spanking necessary in some cases or what other form of punishment is best?
I have a 5 year old. I give plenty of warnings when she doesn't listen, or behave as she should. 'Don't do that', 'Stop', 'No', 'NO", 'STOP', 'OK your getting a spanking' I didn't always follow through in the past, but now that I have started spanking her she knows better not to follow through on whatever is getting her in trouble. If she refuses to get out of the bathtub mom will threaten 'Ok I'm going to have Daddy come spank you' this generally results in a "NO!!" and promptly gets out of the tub. This comes from getting spanked myself as a kid. I deserved it on multiple occasions and I learned my lesson on multiple occasions.
Growing up I was also given a smack every now and again but only when I had been extremely bad, and it hasn't really done me any harm. I think a lot of it depends on how the punishment is given and why. Parents these days are walking a tightrope, with be too soft and having to cope with unruly children doing what they want on oneside, and the fear of prosecution or child services getting involved if they are too strict on the other.
When my oldest was 3yrs I snuggled in bed with her one night and asked her if I was a good dad, she said "No". We had a great relationship and were always together so I was surprised by this. I asked why and she said, "You hit all the time." After I gave this some thought I realized that she was right. The spankings were ineffective which caused me to spank even more because she was still exhibiting the behaviors that was trying to correct. The problem I realized was not so much her bad behavior as my inability to think of a better way of parenting her through them. I was being lazy because spanking is easier. Please don't get me wrong, I don't believe spanking should be outlawed or even never used, but I wish there had been a class that taught me better ways to parent while my daughter was still young and how to avoid getting into the easy trap of just hitting all the time. From that night I don't think I ever had to spank my daughter again. I may have wanted to hit her out my frustration but from that time I started finding real non-spanking solutions to best parent her. Was is more work? You betcha, but wasn't that what I signed up for as a Dad?
Yes. It shouldn't be the standard punishment for doing something wrong but hey, if he doesn't get the message by simply talking then some other means are necessary. So yeah, good in moderation when the situation is appropriate.
Agreed with ya'll it's fine for once in a while but not very effective if used all the time. Fine line between spanking and abuse too.
I used to get spanked. It helped me learn not to do stupid stuff whenever I was younger. I just feel like there is a fine line between when it is ok to spank and when it is not.
I used to get spanked too when I was a kid, and I don't this that's the best way to control children...but sometimes it seems like is the only way to let them know that what they are doing is not appropriate. I don't think that is a bad way to educate children if the parents are spanking them moderately and not really hurting them.
Spanking when used sparingly, works much better than other forms of punishment to get kids to do the right thing. It never should be done when the parent is angry though because they'll go overboard and from then on your child will fear you and when that happens you'll forever lose that child. No one wants that.
