The Reality of Divorce

Discussion in 'The Cocktail Lounge' started by Eziospick, Sep 25, 2014.

  1. My401K

    My401K Well-Known Member

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    Wow, and I missed this discussion how? I am divorced, have been since 1998. I didn't marry young, i was well into my 30's. We didn't have to much in the way of things, and were able to split everything pretty agreeable. the one thing that i have noticed , seeing as I remained single after the divorce is that as a single person my quality of life greatly suffered because the earning power was not comparable. You spend what extra money you have in the beginning on lawyers and relacing the items you lost, then the extra costs of health insurance, lack of tax breaks etc. Start hitting you. I don't think I ever recovered the life I once had. AND i seriously doubt I will ever re-marry.
     
  2. dianethare

    dianethare Senior Investor

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    I have heard old wise men say that marriage is indeed an eye-opener, hence you saying you learned your lesson Gelsemium...in a way i want to get into that boat but even then when the boat's at shore, i can't help it but get cold feet... got to keep a positive view though regardless :)
     
  3. Gelsemium

    Gelsemium Senior Investor

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    Some people have the need to be in a relation, while others don't, it depends on each one, but if we are in a relation we need to take it seriously, or else what's the point?
     
  4. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Senior Investor

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    There are some cases in which divorce is warranted, but I think many couples these days are too quick to just give up. No marriage is perfect and some years you really have to work at the relationship. It is those who make it through the problems that come out strong on the other side.
     
  5. Onionman

    Onionman Senior Investor

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    You can obviously find ways to protect your investments from certain circumstances, but I'd like to think that you wouldn't go into a marriage thinking that this is the inevitable outcome. It is a real world predicament. But the romantic in me would like to think that even if you did part, the money element wouldn't be the dominant part of the story. But I'm probably being naive.
     
  6. ally79

    ally79 Guest

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    The amount of people I know who have been divorced is really astonishing to me. I have been with my husband since I was 14 years old, we got married at 23 and while there have been bumps in the road we have never considered splitting up. We have one friend who is divorced, which seems to be the norm around here, but now she is getting married on New Year's Eve to a guy she has known for less than 3 months! She has three kids and the whole thing just seems SO irresponsible to me.
     
  7. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Senior Investor

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    That is not good, but at least you were there to help out with the situation. Marriage is scary when finances are concerned because many divorces turn ugly. There is so much emotion involved and this emotion can turn into hatred very quickly. If one or both parties have a lot to lose, then a prenuptial can be a wise decision. This could feel like you expect the marriage to fail though.
     
  8. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Guest

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    I've lost almost everything because of a divorce. Would I ever get married again, maybe, but that's not in the plans as of yet. Marriage is just a legal document anyways. So why have it done again and ruin me financially and emotionally. I learned from the first time and sure as hell don't want to do it again.
     
  9. CarpeNemo

    CarpeNemo Well-Known Member

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    It's more about their value system than where they are from, though the two can be inseparably intertwined. There are a lot of down-to-earth women born right here in the same hospital you were. The biggest issue I see is a divorce culture where marriage is easy to get into, painful to get out of, and it's ingrained in a man's mind that no matter how the cards play out the deck is stacked against him, which is more or less true.

    It takes an act of God and clearance from Congress for a man to come out clean in an average divorce.
     
  10. ggbmf000

    ggbmf000 New Member

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    I lived in usa for 15 years and awed with the prosperity the country provides in terms of opportunity but havent figured out why courts will give so much entitlement to women at the same time crushing man's ego. I was bothered somewhat to a certain level by politics, racism, income inequality but never much so when it came to court giving clear advantage to woman. The court system is simply designed to crush man's ego. I was not married till around 34 which is kinda late but around that time met a woman from my own culture. She is only one and worst person i have ever met in my life and every action words spoken and done was against me for ridiculing belittling and isolating me during our relationship. The relationship went sour almost immediately upon we met and I had a hell of a fight in court (even had a take a side with her former husband to defeat her) in order to finally see some sign of subdue. I really did not like her much at all when I iniitally met her and since I was so late into marriage I thought give it a try and thing will work out attitude which was one of the biggest mistake in life. Since then, it was a wake up call for me re-evaluate my life goal and living alone my whole life (which I thought inconceivable and low form of life) actually became a very reality. I dont plan to marry anytime soon, however I do really want to have my own boy except for that marriage is just a POS. If I ever get into relationship with someone, will not commit until I know with 100% of certainty test after test, hundreds of test, that the person is something of a decent human being. If i can not have that certainty ever, I will be better of living alone.
     
    Last edited: May 19, 2015

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